Arthur’s Weekly Message (3/25/13)

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A common question for parents is:  How old should a daughter be to go out on a “date” that is one boy, one girl, one car, and a destination?  What time should he bring her home?  Dating in the western world is the usual way in our culture  to find a life’s mate.  In the Eastern world many marriages are arranged by parents.

This is a system also with many faults and can cause much abuse for the woman involved.  How successful is the Western world’s way? We have 50% of the marriages ending in divorce even in the church world.  This doesn’t convince me that we have it right either.
Is the dating system at fault?  Perhaps, but more likely, the issue is about how the young people are taught and prepared to be alone with the opposite sex.

What values have they been given?  How strong is their commitment to these values?  One high value for dating couples should be sexual purity.

The reason is found in scripture where God lays out how marriage should be.  He designed marriages to be lived out within the bounds of a covenant.

In the book we have recommended “Moral Revolution” by Kris Vallotton and Jason Vallotton on p. 125  Covenant is defined.

“Marriage is supposed to be the deepest and most binding covenant on the planet because it is a promise to love each other with the same covenant love  with which God loves us.

This kind of love leads each partner in the marriage to commit to four primary principles.  First, the couple agrees that their marriage should only be broken by the death of one of them. Second, the couple promises that they are willing to live and to die for one another.  In other words, the focus of each member of the covenant is, “I’m in this relationship for what I can give to it, not just for what I can get out of it.”  True covenant love is expressed in a selfless and giving lifestyle.  With that pledge, the couple also promises to be completely faithful to each other and to consider their bodies as belonging to each other……. And finally, people who are in covenant get naked together like Adam and Eve did in the garden.  ….we should leave our armor at the door when we get home.”

The final principle implies “No Secrets”.

Maybe it’s time we re-evaluate our marriages to see how we measure up with these four principles in order to talk to our children from a position of strength.

Don’t ask them to do something we are not doing ourselves.
As you review these principles you can see how pornography destroys the very fabric of the marriage covenant.

If you are single, divorced, or never married this advice should be observed by you as you consider marriage in the future.

Psalm 139:23-24 “Search me, O God, and know my heart:  try me, and know my thoughts:  and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

I suggest you pray this prayer out loud and wait on Him for answers.

Your brother in Christ,

Arthur sig